No. 03. PART A: “What Kind of Father’s Day Sermon is This?” (Father's Day 2008)
Matthew’s Memories of Jesus - No. 03. “What Kind of Father’s Day Sermon is This?”
June 15, 2008
PART A: (Matthew 10:21 “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.”) …to be concluded next week.
INTRODUCTION
The church has always seemed a bit skittish about Father's Day. We roll out the red carpet for Mom, but when Dad's big moment comes along, we often settle for merely vacuuming the same old welcome mat that's always been there (if we even do that). Perhaps it's because national surveys indicate that (many of) the younger generations are fatherless generations. Why use our worship gatherings to punctuate the absence that causes suffering for so many? Others look past the holiday for reasons that run deeper than statistics. Why opt for North-American-born holidays, they argue, when the church calendar provides more universal points of celebration?
No matter what your position on commercially driven holidays, you must admit, that at the very least, it's on people's minds, so we might as well use it in as redemptive a fashion as possible.
Not easy being a father
And let’s be very clear: It is not easy being a father.
One cynic, speaking from his own experience, noted that children go through four fascinating stages. First they call you DaDa. Then they call you Daddy. As they mature they call you Dad. Finally they call you collect.
Kids Are Fun
I think we can agree this morning, that Kids can be fun. A little girl came home from Sunday School. "What did you learn today?" her father asked. She responded, "All I heard was that the children of Israel did this and the children of Israel did that. Didn't the grown ups do anything?"
Another one: The new baby came home from the hospital. The three-year-old met her new brother at the door and tagged along like a shadow as he was carried in and placed in the basinet. Big sister stood and watched in fascination and noticed that the new arrival was still wearing his ID bracelet. She asked, "Mommy, when are you going to take off his price tag?" [1]
Mark Twain's Father
Do you also remember what Mark Twain, the former American humourist was believed to have said about his father?
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
Not every Dad deserves
On the other hand, it is also probably true that not every Dad deserves to be recognized today, any more than every mother deserves recognition on Mother's Day. But dads are important, just as moms are important. Would it make you feel better if I was to agree with Eugene H. Peterson that the Bible really has no great families to emulate?
No Exemplary Families
In Like Dew Your Youth, Peterson writes:
A search of Scripture turns up one rather surprising truth: there are no exemplary families. Not a single family is portrayed in Scripture in such a way so as to evoke admiration in us. There are many family stories, there is considerable reference to family life, and there is sound counsel to guide the growth of families, but not a single model family for anyone to look up to in either awe or envy.
Adam and Eve are no sooner out of the garden than their children get in a fight. Shem, Ham, and Japheth are forced to devise a strategy to hide their father's drunken shame. Jacob and Esau are bitter rivals and sow seeds of discord that bear centuries of bitter harvest. Joseph and his brothers bring changes on the themes of sibling rivalry and parental bungling. Jesse's sons, brave and loyal in service of their country, are capricious and cruel to their youngest brother. David is unfortunate in both wives and children—he is a man after God's own heart and Israel's greatest king, but he cannot manage his own household.
Even in the family of Jesus, where we might expect something different, there is exposition of the same theme. The picture in Mark, chapter three, strikes us as typical rather than exceptional: Jesus is active, healing the sick, comforting the distressed, and fulfilling his calling as Messiah, while his mother and brothers are outside trying to get him to come home, quite sure that he is crazy. Jesus' family criticizes and does not appreciate. It misunderstands and does not comprehend.
The biblical material does not portray the family as a Norman Rockwell group, beaming in gratitude around a Thanksgiving turkey, but as a series of broken relationships in need of redemption.[2]
It is that very reality that I want to zero in on this morning. I hope that you wondered about the verse chosen as a text for this morning’s sermon. The verse chosen is very intimidating. How could anyone disown their family just because one of them chose for Jesus?
I should also warn you that we are not going to solve this conundrum this morning. Next Sunday we will again pick up on this same theme of division as we look at some similar verses located near the end of this same chapter.
(Matthew 10:21 “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.”)
Yet this is not an unnatural fear.
New Christian Entrusts Her Marriage to God
An anonymous woman, from northern Illinois wrote to a Christian magazine of her experience in trying to deal with an unsympathetic husband after she became a new believer. She writes:
“When I met accepted Jesus into my heart, I was 49-years-old and had been married to my husband for 17 years. We had two children and a quiet suburban life. We had built a life that was comfortable and expected by our respective families. But I knew at that moment that everything about my life was going to change. And, if I was to be obedient and follow Christ, I could most definitely lose it all—my marriage, my life the way I knew it, my friends, my family.
Becoming a Christian was new life for me—a joy and an answer to a life with no real meaning. But becoming a Christian also meant that there was a definite possibility that my husband would cease to love me. How could I know he would stay with me if I was so thoroughly a new person? How could I know that my husband, who was not a believer, would value his vows? I was extremely afraid. At times, I didn't want to have this new life. Honestly, I didn't think it was worth it—I wanted to give it back to God. I wanted to run the other way.
Satan immediately began his work, bent on the destruction of our marriage. I cannot describe to you how swiftly he moved. He continued shaping and molding true hatred for the one thing my husband despised: "those religious types." I was now one of them.
I weighed my devotion for Christ against my devotion to my kids and family. I asked whether a broken marriage with Christ was better than a marriage without Christ. But gradually, Christ's words became my words, his love filled me and poured out of me, and I was able to love the man who called me his enemy. I found that I could love my husband with a resolve I had never before experienced.
In the year and a half that has followed, many blessings have been bestowed upon my family. It may not be apparent to my husband, but our marriage is very different because of Christ. Christ is at the center and is shaping our partnership in a very new and distinctly Christian way. Additionally, my husband has changed dramatically from the man he was two years ago. He told me I should go ahead and attend church and gave me his blessing. My children began going to youth group, and now both of my children are worshiping with me weekly. And when I asked my husband if he would support my daughter and me to be a part of a missions trip to Mexico, he responded with, "We will make it happen."
I have entrusted my husband into Christ's care. I am okay with that. I have learned many lessons in this past year and a half, but none so much as loving and trusting my Lord.”
Hockey legend reflects on journey of faith
Fortunately there are Dads out there who were able to turn it around for Jesus. One of the more famous Canadians ones is the former NHL and WHA star, Paul Henderson, who is still remembered for his three game winning goals in the 1972 Canada-Russia Summit Series.
Starting the journey
Henderson, who grew up in poverty as the oldest of five children, didn't actually show an interest in the Christian faith until age 29. As a kid growing up, his goal was to prove to himself that he could make it in the world.
Despite what may have seemed like a glowing life, Henderson admitted when he was honest with himself, there was a lot of anger pent up inside.
"I hated (former Toronto Maple Leafs owner) Harold Ballard and I had some issues with my dad, who was dead - I was a pretty angry guy," he said.
"When I would go to bed at night, I would look at my wife and say, 'I just want to be able to put my head on the pillow, go to sleep and be at peace.' There was always turmoil, worries, fears and that sort of stuff, and I wasn't content…"
1972 Summit Series
After the 1972 Summit Series, Henderson was approached by a man who saw him interviewed on television and suspected that the hockey legend "had a bit of an edge to him."
He asked Henderson if he had ever considered the spiritual aspects of life, which the forward admitted he was skeptical of.
"I looked at people with a spiritual dimension of their life as people who were weak," said Henderson. "I prided myself on being a self-made man, so for the first 32 years of my life, I was not interested whatsoever.
"My oldest daughter was starting to ask me questions like, 'Dad, do you think there's a God?' When your kids ask you questions and you don't know what to tell them, it's a bit disconcerting.
"I spent two years and hundreds of hours looking into it and finally after reading and asking questions to a lot of different people, finally in spring of 1975, I became a Christian and said, 'Ok Lord, I believe you're who you say you are, let's go down this street...'"
Later years
Since retiring, Henderson has started a Leader Impact group, which has over 800 members in the Toronto area. The group is a place for people to come out, ask questions and put their fears and worries on the table.
Henderson and his wife also work with married couples on how to resolve conflict, communicate with one another and generally have a good marriage.
"For the first 32 years of my life, I lived on this side of the fence," he said. "For the last 33, I've lived as a Christian and when I see the difference, I really see that God's ways are practical ways in terms of being a husband, a father, a hockey player, a businessman - and it works.
"Is it easy? No. Are there disappointments? Sure there are. Am I the person that I would like myself to be? No, I've got a long time to go. I like to tell people that I live lightly and freely - I'm not off-side with anybody in the world and I harbour no bitterness. I anticipate today, tomorrow and the next day."[3]
Christ Demands Our All
His experience reminds me of a comment by C.S. Lewis about the cost and price of radical sold-out discipleship for Jesus. Lewis writes:
Jesus says, "Give me all. I don't want “so” much of your time and “so” much of your money and “so” much of your work: I want you. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there. I want to have the whole tree down. I don't want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think are innocent as well as the ones you think are wicked—the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you myself: my own will shall become yours."[4]
SO Who's your "daddy?"
A number of slang phrases entered our vocabulary in the 1990s. One of them was "Who's your daddy?" More recently the phrase appeared in a popular movie depicting two contract killers who were unwittingly married to each other. The phrase reaches its height as the wife asks the husband, “Who’s Your Daddy now?” The origin of this phrase is unclear, but "Who's your daddy?" appears to have originated on urban basketball courts. It is meant as a putdown. It's a way of saying, "I'm better than you." But I want us to redeem that phrase today, to baptize it into God’s family, as it were. My question to you today, if I may paraphrase Anjolina Jolie in “Mrs. Smith” is this: “So who is your Daddy, now, today?
Jim Beattie
Unfortunately, fatherhood is often used in today’s society as a putdown of God. I thought it interesting this week that in our local paper, Pastor Jim Beattie, in writing about Father’s day, comments that many kids unwittingly think of God as an extension of their fathers, and that too often God comes off looking not very good. There is also an illustration that relates to this in the famous novel, Dr. Zhivago.
He Will Never Let Go
In the movie version, the Comrade General is talking with Tanya. He asks her, "How did you come to be lost?" She replies, "Well, I was just lost." He asks again, "No, how did you come to be lost?" Tanya doesn't want to say. She says simply, "I was just lost. My father and I were running through the city and it was on fire. The revolution had come and we were trying to escape and I was lost."
The Comrade General asked more emphatically, "How did you come to be lost?" She still didn't want to say. Finally though she did say, "We were running through the city and my father let go of my hand and I was lost." Then she added plaintively, "He let go." This is what she didn't want to say.
The Comrade General said, "This is what I've been trying to tell you, Tanya. Komarov was not your real father. Zhivago is your real father and I can promise you, Tanya, that if this man had been there, your real father, he would never have let go of your hand."
But that is the difference between a real father and a false father, is it not? A real father would never let go of his daughter's hand. That is also the difference between a real god and a false one.[5]
CONCLUSIONS
When Matthew writes that:
(Matthew 10:21 “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.”)
- the inference is that, yes, in very extreme circumstances, this might even happen, but if it does, your true Heavenly Father, the God who loves you, will always be there for you; He will NOT let go!
Is he truly YOUR Daddy today? He is the only one who can help us truly keep the commitments that we have made to Shane and Karen today. The Bible promises that He is the one that will never leave us of forsake us.
Perhaps that can be part of our conversation as we “talk amongst ourselves” over our Coffees this morning. But before that let’s close by singing together: Hymn #212 “Amazing Grace”
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[1] David E. Leininger, Collected Sermons
[2] Dave Goetz, Wheaton Illinois; source: Eugene H. Peterson, Like Dew Your Youth: Growing Up with Your Teenager (Eerdmans, 1994), pp.110-11
[3]KENT BURTON, Newfoundland’s Grand Falls-Windsor Advertiser 12_06_08
[4] C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (HarperOne, 2001), p. 196-197; submitted by Bill White, Paramount, California
[5] King Duncan, Where Are The Laborers?, www.Sermons.com